New beginnings1/20/2018 Happy Saturday! I hope your week was super fabulous and that the upcoming one be just as great, if not better! This weeks topic was submitted by a friend of mine named Ethan and I promised to give him credit for the topic idea. Hey Ethan! Thanks for reading and thanks for the blog topic! If any of y’all have topics that you would like for me to talk about, feel free to leave a comment or send me an email through the contact tab on my blog. Also, if you want first dibs to the content I post, sign up for my email list!! I leave a form at the end of every blog and all you have to do is type in your email and hit submit. It’s super simple and I appreciate each one of you who took the time to do so! As many (hopefully everyone, actually) of you have come to notice that it’s a new year! 2018! That’s so crazy because ever since kindergarten I’ve had this year in the sights of my horizon because it’s a huge milestone year for me, since I graduate High School in about 4 short months! Talk about a “new beginning” once I get that diploma. However, I’m not going to focus on the whole graduation topic right now. New beginnings can be awfully scary, but most of the time beneficial. Sometimes, people choose to start over fresh and rebuild themselves after being torn down for so long. It happens all the time. I know people who started over after spending years being unhappy with the relationship they’re in, unhappy with their job, unhappy in a friendship that ultimately tore them down rather than building them up; the list could go on. The thing is, all these situations have something in common. They are like one another because they all end in a choice to change your life and start over in order to heal yourself. It’s a personal decision to become the person you sit around wishing you could become. There comes a point where enough is enough and you decide, “I don’t want to be unhappy anymore.” Sometimes it takes a short time before you realize that change is necessary, sometimes it can take nearly 2 decades or more. No matter how long it takes, it’s never too late. New beginnings are beautiful, despite the anxiety that often comes along with the healing. Of course, at first things may be painful. Change isn’t convenient, no matter how necessary it may be for your personal growth, but having hope is what it takes to get through. I’ve talked to many people about their sorrows, and one common thing I’ve noticed is that they don’t ever see things getting better for them. The “light at the end of the tunnel” simply isn’t there in their eyes, and it holds them hostage to their emotions and situations that are causing harm to their well being. I used to be that person. Then one day I decided enough was enough and I got help. Now, I look back on where I used to be in my life and where I am now, and it’s crazy how different things are; how happy I am now compared to only one short year ago. My happiness is due to the choice I made to find a new beginning. I know people who have left marriages that did nothing but tear them down and abuse them, or had continuous unfaithful interactions within the marriage, that had to make the decision that they weren’t going to put up with being treated like a door mat any longer. So new beginning, there they went! Now they are much happier than they have ever been and things worked out beneficially. Just because everything is okay now, does not mean trials weren’t present. Leaving something like that is very hard financially, physically and absolutely emotionally. The thing is, just because change is scary and things hurt at the moment, does not mean that it’s going to be like that forever. Life has a way of working out, and things always get better. Life is kind of like an elevator. It goes up, but also goes down. However, there are buttons in that thing that you simply just push and it takes you to the floor you want to be on. When you start realizing the elevator you’re on is going down, pay attention. Close attention. Pain is the BEST teacher. Then push that button and work your way back up. Even if you have to stop at every single floor before you get to the top. Dont lose hope either because life is like an eveator but simultaneously is the elevator and will carry you to the floor you need to be on. All you have to do is decide to push that button then be patient for the arrival of where you want to be. Just because you’re hurting now, doesn’t mean it will be like this a year from now. Just because you have lost all hope, doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. Just because you’re afraid, doesn’t mean that choosing to start over isn’t an option. People can try to help you and be there for you as hard as humanly possible, but in the scheme of things, it is YOU that has to want to heal YOURSELF. Can people still help guide you and carry you when you’re too weak? Of course! But nobody can heal you or start over for you. You have to put in the work and help yourself by making the decision that this isn’t the life you want to live in anymore. Then you begin again. However, my advice to you is no matter how many times you decide to start over, please don’t forget what it was like to hurt. Don’t forget what the situation you decided to change was like. Like I stated earlier, pain is the greatest teacher. Everything happens for a reason, I believe, and therefore, trying to bury the past is pointless. You can’t run away from the things you’ve been through because they make us who we are. Instead, embrace the fact that you were in a bad place and now you have decided to move along to find better days. Stay humble about the trials you go through because within everything bad, there is good that comes out of it, even if it takes a years before we realize the lesson that our sorrow was whispering in our ear the whole time. Some advice my brother, who is quite honestly my best friend, gave me almost a year ago when I was upset about something that ended up working out just a few months later was, “Just stay positive because you never know what could happen.” Its simple advice, but nonetheless true. Life has a way of working out. Now to change course a little... Sometimes we are forced into a new beginning because of things outside of our control such as death, sickness, loss of jobs, the other person deciding they don’t want to be in a relationship with you any longer, traumatic life events that you couldn’t have planned for even if you tried, etc... Just because we didn’t make the conscious decision to start over, doesn’t mean that it won’t be helpful in the long run. Again, things happen for a reason. One day you may look back on the things that came crumbling down, causing you to unwillingly start over, and realize that it all worked out in the end. That person who broke your heart will just be a memory of the past and you may notice the person you are with now will show you a love like no other, and everything makes sense. It’s clear now why things didn’t work out. It was a way to make room for the good to come. No mater how much it hurts, the pain can’t even compare to the joy thats is coming. That job that you were let go from? Fled from your life to give you the opportunity to do something that makes you even happier. Something that fits the person you are today, rather than the person you were when you were hired at that old job. Graduating high school? Yeah it’s scary being thrown out into the real world, and it may suck at first, but for 1.) It’s inevitable. We all move past the age of high school and have to “adult” whether we want to or not, and 2.) life has so much more in store than just sitting in a classroom all day. You have control. You make the choices that take your life where you want it to go. Even when things try to knock you off the road, you have the choice to find another route to ultimately get to the destination you want to be. Don’t be afraid of new beginnings, because no matter how anxiety invoking they may be, life has a way of working out. With love,
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Dear Friend,1/13/2018 Dear Friend, We haven’t talked in quite some time. I find myself missing you sometimes and it’s hard, but I guess things happen for a reason. I listen to that song or album that we both obsessed over together and my mind goes to you. I can’t help but think about that time we went to that concert together and it was so crazy how real everything was. Our hero’s, right there on stage in front of us! We both cried. We both cried, because a deep love for music was something we had in common. We invested ourselves in these artists and it was so wonderful to have found you. To have someone to obsess over how much that band made me feel and how much I was utterly in love with their music. I remember all the deep talks we had on short car rides and very late nights, when you used to spend the night with me. We would talk about our struggles and how eternity was a deeply bone-shaking topic. We talked about our favorite movies and shared them with one another. We would cook dinners together, and bake cookies and scream at the top of our lungs the lyrics to our favorite songs. Shopping trips and breakfast dates, you getting your first job and me totaling that old pickup truck of mine where we shared so many adventures and laughs, as well as cries. The perfume of yours that I borrowed and fell in love with, so I bought my own and now every time I smell it, I think of you. How your mother basically adopted me and how I practically kidnapped you. All the plans we made and future road trips to pursue. How we were going to live together after graduation and how we wanted to start that band that was hopeless. I gave you a part of me that only very special people get privilege to. I opened up my heart to you and told you everything I’ve ever struggled with and the things that I believed in. You knew me better than myself sometimes, and I always admired your advice and support. I just miss you because now I look back and our bond is a thing of the past. I’m not sure how to fix it, but just know I miss you and I still love you dearly. I don’t know where we stopped being how we used to be or when, but I have noticed how different things are. You have your new best friend, and I still have me. Even if I have been replaced, it’s okay because nobody can take away the memories we shared. I struggled with the thought that you no longer play the role in my life that you once did, and nostalgia is like a cold wind against my bare skin on a winters night, but I am learning to accept the fact that things change. People change. Friendships change. Life’s a change. I still love you. And I’m still here for you. I always will be. I’m saddened by the fact that you may or may not be by my side throughout the future, the fact that you may or may not be a bridesmaid in my wedding one day, or the interim aunt to my children, or the old lady that I go on Cracker Barrel dates with and gripe about how youngsters can’t keep their pants pulled up high enough. Despite my sadness and the ache of missing the shadow of you and I, I hope you are happy, and I truly mean that. I hope you are joyful. I hope this life is everything you ever dreamed it could be and more, even if I’m not privy to be by your side throughout the adventure of it all. I hope you are successful and you find someone who loves you so much, and cares for you as much as you have always cared about others. I hope your children are as adorable as you and that you get to see the world like you always dreamed about. I pray for you, and I wish you the best. I guess some things aren’t meant to last forever, but I’m thankful for the time I did get to spend with you as your best friend. I’m thankful for all the laughs, cried, memories, and inside jokes we had. I promise you this, I will never forget you, because you made me who I am. You were there for me when no one else was. You were there for those 2am calls when I couldn’t sleep because of the things I was going through, and there for me during the darkest days I have ever known. You made my good days brighter and I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have your beautiful influence in my life. You were there to help me add to my Peace Tea can collection, even though you didn’t like it as much as Arizona tea. You were the only person, so far, to read the poetry I’ve written. You were there to give me makeup advice and helped me do my hair because, let’s face it, I’m not good at doing hair whatsoever. I appreciate you and all you ever did for me. I appreciate you for all the memories you gave me and for making these last years the best ones of my life, despite the fact that they have also been the worst due to reasons that have nothing to do with you. Maybe one day, we will meet again when we’re older and life isn’t the way it is now, because things constantly change. Maybe then, we’ll catch up on the things that have happened and maybe then we will be friends like we once were. Or maybe, not. I just pray that no matter where the paths of life take us, we never forget each other. I love you friend. And I always will, even if one day your are only but a memory; A somebody that I used to know. With Love, Choosing positivity1/6/2018 Happy Saturday! I hope you all had a fabulous week, and make this upcoming one a beautiful one. If you haven’t yet, please sign up for my Email list! (Sign up at the bottom of this post) If you do, you'll get an email with a link directly to my blog whenever I post (which is around 10am every Saturday). It takes like five seconds to sign up for and i really appreciate it if you choose to be a part of this. The support is fabulous and I’m very grateful! Also I LOVE getting comments from you all! Let me know what your opinions are of any blog suggestions you have and I’ll be happy to address it! Email me (link on my contact page and at the bottom of my post) or leave a comment! I’m not the kind of person who considered herself only “skin deep”. I like digging into peoples souls, having emotional talks, and sharing wisdom and advice with others when I can. Recently, a friend of mine who is quite a bit younger than me was conversing with me and she mentioned how she hopes to have the same amount of positivity I have when she’s at my stage of life. I couldn’t help but think to myself, “There’s a change. I used to be so negative internally and it showed on the outside as well.” It was sorta refreshing to be called positive because I thought that’s surely all of the negative I’ve things I have felt through the last years of my life, would have permanently tainted me to be a downer. What I actually realized is it gave me a sense of hope. It MADE me positive, as if the negativity were some kind of purifyer. Things had to get dark for me to truly appreciate the light. (Thats a blog planned for another day) After I quickly thought the things I mentioned above, I replied to her with this: “You’ll most likely lose it somewhere along the way, but it’ll come back. I promise. who knows, maybe it won’t. After all, You control you. Always remember that. You have control. So if it doesn’t come back, choose it. Life isn’t as serious and everyone makes it out to be. Don’t stress too much, because when you’re 38 and living in a beautiful house with your wonderful babies and the person you love, the one (or several) bad grades you may have made, won’t matter. Im not saying don’t try. Always try. Try your hardest and be the best you can be, but that failed test? Won’t matter. Your class rank? Won’t matter. That boy who broke your heart or the friend that stabbed you in the back, Wont. Matter. You live and you learn, but only if you choose to take the situations in which your placed in to grow from, instead of just letting them be a sad story on your resume. However, what does matter the most is the memories you make. That’s why I hope you participate in your life. Be present. THAT is something no one can take away from you. You won’t remember what your report cards said or every little thing your teachers taught you, but you WILL remember the memories you made and the things you did. And that’s all that matters in the long run anyhow.” I left the beginning of my advice above a bit vague for the purpose of the girl I was talking with, (and anyone else) to able to fill in the blank with whatever their “It” may be. Maybe you lost yourself, or all hope. Maybe you lost your positivity, or heck, even your mind. That’s okay. It’s okay. And it’s going to be okay. In the end, you have control and you can choose how to handle your situation. For me, it always comes down to two things: Let it be (per the famous Beatles lyrics) or choose. Choose to fix it. Choose to improve it. Choose to get it back. Choose to love. Life is filled with choices and positivity is one of them, my friends. Now, Positivity isn’t a cure all. It won’t get rid of all the bad in your life or the world, but it can definitely help make the load you carry feel a little less heavy, and the coolest thing about it is that it can help take some of the weight off other peoples shoulders as well. You inspire people, just as people had inspired you. What will you choose next time around? With love, AuthorHello!
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