Dear Friend,1/13/2018 Dear Friend, We haven’t talked in quite some time. I find myself missing you sometimes and it’s hard, but I guess things happen for a reason. I listen to that song or album that we both obsessed over together and my mind goes to you. I can’t help but think about that time we went to that concert together and it was so crazy how real everything was. Our hero’s, right there on stage in front of us! We both cried. We both cried, because a deep love for music was something we had in common. We invested ourselves in these artists and it was so wonderful to have found you. To have someone to obsess over how much that band made me feel and how much I was utterly in love with their music. I remember all the deep talks we had on short car rides and very late nights, when you used to spend the night with me. We would talk about our struggles and how eternity was a deeply bone-shaking topic. We talked about our favorite movies and shared them with one another. We would cook dinners together, and bake cookies and scream at the top of our lungs the lyrics to our favorite songs. Shopping trips and breakfast dates, you getting your first job and me totaling that old pickup truck of mine where we shared so many adventures and laughs, as well as cries. The perfume of yours that I borrowed and fell in love with, so I bought my own and now every time I smell it, I think of you. How your mother basically adopted me and how I practically kidnapped you. All the plans we made and future road trips to pursue. How we were going to live together after graduation and how we wanted to start that band that was hopeless. I gave you a part of me that only very special people get privilege to. I opened up my heart to you and told you everything I’ve ever struggled with and the things that I believed in. You knew me better than myself sometimes, and I always admired your advice and support. I just miss you because now I look back and our bond is a thing of the past. I’m not sure how to fix it, but just know I miss you and I still love you dearly. I don’t know where we stopped being how we used to be or when, but I have noticed how different things are. You have your new best friend, and I still have me. Even if I have been replaced, it’s okay because nobody can take away the memories we shared. I struggled with the thought that you no longer play the role in my life that you once did, and nostalgia is like a cold wind against my bare skin on a winters night, but I am learning to accept the fact that things change. People change. Friendships change. Life’s a change. I still love you. And I’m still here for you. I always will be. I’m saddened by the fact that you may or may not be by my side throughout the future, the fact that you may or may not be a bridesmaid in my wedding one day, or the interim aunt to my children, or the old lady that I go on Cracker Barrel dates with and gripe about how youngsters can’t keep their pants pulled up high enough. Despite my sadness and the ache of missing the shadow of you and I, I hope you are happy, and I truly mean that. I hope you are joyful. I hope this life is everything you ever dreamed it could be and more, even if I’m not privy to be by your side throughout the adventure of it all. I hope you are successful and you find someone who loves you so much, and cares for you as much as you have always cared about others. I hope your children are as adorable as you and that you get to see the world like you always dreamed about. I pray for you, and I wish you the best. I guess some things aren’t meant to last forever, but I’m thankful for the time I did get to spend with you as your best friend. I’m thankful for all the laughs, cried, memories, and inside jokes we had. I promise you this, I will never forget you, because you made me who I am. You were there for me when no one else was. You were there for those 2am calls when I couldn’t sleep because of the things I was going through, and there for me during the darkest days I have ever known. You made my good days brighter and I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have your beautiful influence in my life. You were there to help me add to my Peace Tea can collection, even though you didn’t like it as much as Arizona tea. You were the only person, so far, to read the poetry I’ve written. You were there to give me makeup advice and helped me do my hair because, let’s face it, I’m not good at doing hair whatsoever. I appreciate you and all you ever did for me. I appreciate you for all the memories you gave me and for making these last years the best ones of my life, despite the fact that they have also been the worst due to reasons that have nothing to do with you. Maybe one day, we will meet again when we’re older and life isn’t the way it is now, because things constantly change. Maybe then, we’ll catch up on the things that have happened and maybe then we will be friends like we once were. Or maybe, not. I just pray that no matter where the paths of life take us, we never forget each other. I love you friend. And I always will, even if one day your are only but a memory; A somebody that I used to know. With Love,
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Choosing positivity1/6/2018 Happy Saturday! I hope you all had a fabulous week, and make this upcoming one a beautiful one. If you haven’t yet, please sign up for my Email list! (Sign up at the bottom of this post) If you do, you'll get an email with a link directly to my blog whenever I post (which is around 10am every Saturday). It takes like five seconds to sign up for and i really appreciate it if you choose to be a part of this. The support is fabulous and I’m very grateful! Also I LOVE getting comments from you all! Let me know what your opinions are of any blog suggestions you have and I’ll be happy to address it! Email me (link on my contact page and at the bottom of my post) or leave a comment! I’m not the kind of person who considered herself only “skin deep”. I like digging into peoples souls, having emotional talks, and sharing wisdom and advice with others when I can. Recently, a friend of mine who is quite a bit younger than me was conversing with me and she mentioned how she hopes to have the same amount of positivity I have when she’s at my stage of life. I couldn’t help but think to myself, “There’s a change. I used to be so negative internally and it showed on the outside as well.” It was sorta refreshing to be called positive because I thought that’s surely all of the negative I’ve things I have felt through the last years of my life, would have permanently tainted me to be a downer. What I actually realized is it gave me a sense of hope. It MADE me positive, as if the negativity were some kind of purifyer. Things had to get dark for me to truly appreciate the light. (Thats a blog planned for another day) After I quickly thought the things I mentioned above, I replied to her with this: “You’ll most likely lose it somewhere along the way, but it’ll come back. I promise. who knows, maybe it won’t. After all, You control you. Always remember that. You have control. So if it doesn’t come back, choose it. Life isn’t as serious and everyone makes it out to be. Don’t stress too much, because when you’re 38 and living in a beautiful house with your wonderful babies and the person you love, the one (or several) bad grades you may have made, won’t matter. Im not saying don’t try. Always try. Try your hardest and be the best you can be, but that failed test? Won’t matter. Your class rank? Won’t matter. That boy who broke your heart or the friend that stabbed you in the back, Wont. Matter. You live and you learn, but only if you choose to take the situations in which your placed in to grow from, instead of just letting them be a sad story on your resume. However, what does matter the most is the memories you make. That’s why I hope you participate in your life. Be present. THAT is something no one can take away from you. You won’t remember what your report cards said or every little thing your teachers taught you, but you WILL remember the memories you made and the things you did. And that’s all that matters in the long run anyhow.” I left the beginning of my advice above a bit vague for the purpose of the girl I was talking with, (and anyone else) to able to fill in the blank with whatever their “It” may be. Maybe you lost yourself, or all hope. Maybe you lost your positivity, or heck, even your mind. That’s okay. It’s okay. And it’s going to be okay. In the end, you have control and you can choose how to handle your situation. For me, it always comes down to two things: Let it be (per the famous Beatles lyrics) or choose. Choose to fix it. Choose to improve it. Choose to get it back. Choose to love. Life is filled with choices and positivity is one of them, my friends. Now, Positivity isn’t a cure all. It won’t get rid of all the bad in your life or the world, but it can definitely help make the load you carry feel a little less heavy, and the coolest thing about it is that it can help take some of the weight off other peoples shoulders as well. You inspire people, just as people had inspired you. What will you choose next time around? With love, I’m Glad I’m not a Goldfish12/30/2017 Happy Saturday! My apologies for the post being super late today, but as the typical saying goes, better late than never!
I hope you all had a wonderful week. Today has been a crazy day, but still wonderful. I think I’m officially a Tea drinker. I’ve always liked sweet iced tea, but hot tea hasn’t ever been my thing. However, lately I’ve been wanting to try it out so I went to the store and bought some Jasmine-Green tea. I absolutely love it! It’s calming and comforting for some reason. If you have any hot teas that you enjoy, let me know by leaving a comment! When I was at Wal-Mary buying my tea, I noticed a girl who had very colorful hair. I just admired the confidence it must take to do something so bold. I’ve wanted to color my hair cobalt blue for some time now, but I’m a little apprehensive because my hair is basically my pride and joy, but how fun would it be to have blue hair?! I also noticed many people of all different ages and skin colors. This isn’t my first time having these thoughts, just my first time expressing these thoughts in writing, but I just am amazed at how cool the human race is! We are all so different, physically and mentally. We each have lives and families and different opinions on many things. Why aren’t we all the same? Why do we all have different physical appearances, styles, opinions, traditions and beliefs? Because if we didn’t, LIFE WOULD BE BORING. People watching is one of the most interesting things because you see the pure innocence of people and they don’t even know. Go to a coffee shop and just sit down and watch all the people that come in and out, hustling about their daily routine and disappearing like they were never there in the beginning. Back to their lives, their families, their jobs, out of your presence, never to be seen by you again. Thats the beauty of it. The fact that we don’t know everyone. That we have the opportunity to meet new people and see these strangers each day. We all have unique struggles that only those close to us may know about, some we keep locked up inside of us, never to be seen by the light of day or the ears of another. Theres these song lyrics by Bring Me The Horizon that go “We all carry these things inside that no one else can see, they hold us down like anchors, and drown us out at sea.” I feel like many people can relate to this. Pain is an inevitable part of life and for some reason, we as humans feel as if we cant express our sorrow outwardly, so we hold it all inside until it becomes unhealthy. (Guilty) However, we all experience joy at some point as well because the sun can’t shine without a little rain. The human race just amazes me because of the small innocent moments like when a couple is walking down the street holding hands, or when a child picking wildflowers hands a bunch to his mother just because he loves her and was thinking of her while he played. Or when an old couple smiles at each other like they are the only two people they need on the planet, like their love is what they depend on regardless of the years and trials and things they’ve been through. When a woman is just humming along as she walks to her car after buying groceries, on her way to cook dinner for her family. The little moments are what I live for. The little moments I get to witness as I look at other people living their lives, getting so caught up in the moment that they don’t even care who is watching. The most beautiful moments happen when we are just being carefree. Completely pure and raw, like honey. No matter how self aware we are around other people, if you pay attention, you’ll notice the brief moments that happen when someone gets so caught up in living that they are nothing but truly themselves. When I catch people in a moment like that it makes me want to just sit down and talk to them. Not just small talk. I can’t stand small talk. I just want to talk to people I don’t even know and ask them everything about themselves. Their favorite movies, songs, books, the hard things they’ve been through, the loved ones they’ve lost, how they got all their scars and where they want to be 20 years from now. I want to swim inside the thoughts of each person I meet until I drown in a sea of their life story. People leave me in awe, so intricate and detailed, unlike simple animals. I’m so glad I’m not a goldfish. With love, Friends and Foundations12/23/2017 Hello! It’s Saturday! We survived another week! I love simple Saturday mornings, especially when I get my coffee so perfect like I did today. It’s seriously heavenly. Anyway, I wanted to start off by letting you all know, that I’m going to be starting up an Email list. How it works is when you sign up for it, I send out an Email every Saturday (which is the day I post my blog every week) letting you know the blog is up and ready, with a link straight to the site from your Email. This makes it easy to access so you can enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it! There’s a form at the bottom of this post that I ask all of you who read this, to subscribe by entering your email and hitting the “subscribe to newsletter” button. It’s that simple and easy! Thank you in advance for the support! So, as you all know, Christmas is in a few days. (Yay!) im not sure if anyone else can relate to this, but I often get nostalgic around this time of year. I start to remeber what my life was like at this point of last year, and I reflect on how much has changed. A lot has changed within myself over the past year, I’ve grown a ton mentally and emotionally. Life is one big lesson and wisdom is the reward we gain from paying attention, and honestly, that’s extremely valuable. The main thing that’s on my mind lately, however, is the friendships I’ve built and lost in such a short amount of time. People I never would have imagined becoming so close to, are now my people, and ones that I never dreamed of losing, have drifted away from the grasp of my fingertips. This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced losing friends, perhaps losing isn’t a correct term, maybe “bidding farewell to” is more adequate. Part of living and growing is that past relationships change and diminish, but with every loss, there is a gain, so other relationships flourish. There was a time when I didn’t understand this. I felt so hurt that people I promised to stand by forever in our friendship, who promised me the same, just walked away as if I were a toy a young child left on the school bus. I questioned myself, “why wasn’t I good enough?”, “What did I do?”, “how could they still go after I have given my all?”. The answer is simple. Sometimes, God gives us people as tools to shape us into the human we’re supposed to be. These people are simply in our lives for a few months to a few years, and then they slowly leave. It hurts, because we can’t see what God is doing, so we feel abandoned instead of taught. However, that doesn’t change the fact that these temporary friends were in our lives for a purpose. It doesn’t change every laugh, cry, adventure, dark moment, heartbreak, victory and memory we shared with them. That’s something nobody can take away from you. On the other hand, sometimes people part ways because they push you out and hurt you until you just let them leave. Letting go doesn’t hurt any less than realizing someone has silently left your life. Just because you decided to let them part ways or even made that decision for them, doesn’t mean you won’t miss the times you shared. We are all just human, and we aren’t perfect. Life gets messy and some people just don’t know how to let other people be tools to help them grow, because they don’t realize they need watering. The thing is, everyone, no matter how old you are or where life has taken you, has room for growth. Now, not everyone in your life is going to leave just because a few old friends did. I consider myself very blessed because I have a couple of friends that no matter how long we spend apart from each other, nothing changes. We just pick up right where we left off, fill each other in on the adventures of our life since the last time we talked, and that is that. We’re right back on track and our friendship is just as strong as always. It’s not awkward or tense, it’s comfortable and uplifting. I value these friends more than they will ever know. If you have friends like this, never let them go. Like I stated before, sometimes, God uses people as temporary tools to help shape us, but He also gives us people as a foundation. That’s is where these friends I just mentioned fall in. They are there no matter what and it would take some serious equipment to tear them out of our lives. These people never tear us down, they are steadfast and show us love and forgiveness no matter what, and they are always honest with us, even when the truth is so NOT what we want to hear. A little tough love never hurt anyone. Cherish every friend you have for the time you have them, and when God pulls them away from you, don’t try to hold onto them. He knows best and has a plan, and if they were meant to be they will be, or they will come back. There’s a saying that goes, “let them go, if it’s meant to be, they’ll come back. If they don’t, they were never yours in the first place.” I strongly belive in this saying, because I’ve experienced in my life. It’s so true, and once they come back, that’s when you give your everything to hold onto them. When you know, you know. You’ll know, whenever the time is right, who was only supposed to be in your life for a season, and who is there as your foundation. Try to find peace with whatever happens. Inner peace is the key to happiness and it’s something you have complete control over. I hope you find comfort if you are grieving the loss of a friend who walked away from you, and I hope you find peace as well very soon. I also hope, that if you have a foundation friend, you value them. It’s all going to be okay. With much love, When life happens...12/16/2017 Good morning everyone! I suppose by the time some of you read this, it won’t be morning, but that’s okay.
Sometimes life doesn’t go as we plan it to. We can wake up one morning and plan for the day to be just wonderful and simple, then only a few short hours after our feet hit the floor, things become crappy and complicated. Sometimes things go south because of our own choices, and sometimes it’s because of other people’s choices that affect our lives as well. The power of choice is something that many, if not all, of us take for granted. We get so caught up in present moments that we don’t think about the after. Little do we realize, that our choices don’t affect ourselves alone, but the people around us. Why do we make mistakes? Why do we choose poorly? Why do we get tunnel vision so easily? Because we’re human. The only perfect person who has ever touched the bounds of this planet was Jesus. Even he had struggles, but he handled them gracefully and properly. Again, were only human. Humans mess up. Humans make mistakes. Humans make bad decisions and choose the wrong things sometimes. Often, actually. Sometimes it’s ourselves that do wrong, but sometimes it’s people we love and care about. However, we must learn to listen to the lesson that life is teaching us. It’s more valuable than any college lecture or class you will ever take. Knowledge isn’t power. Education isn’t power. Wisdom is. Tunnel vision is when we can’t see anything on the other side of “the now”. We get so caught up in what’s going on in the very moment we are in, and we lose sight of the future and what consequences may lie ahead. That’s when we lose hope for better days, and that’s when we mess up. When yourself messes up, that’s when you need to pay attention. Listen to the words life will speak into your ear. Have integrity and take responsibility for your actions, and deal with the consequences that are handed to you. Then move along. Life doesn’t stop. Life will never stop for anyone. It keeps going, and so should you. When someone you love messes up, be understanding and remeber the fact that they are human just like you. Find a way to be compassionate even when you don’t want to be. Find a way to handle your anger, disappointment or whatever you may be feeling about the choice the person you care about has made, gracefully. Handling chaos and upsetting situations with grace and maturity is very tricky, but it makes things so much easier on you and the other person. Most importantly, find a way to be forgiving. Holding on to grudges does nothing beneficial for you, or anyone, for that matter. We have to keep in mind how many times ourselves have messed up, and how many times we have been forgiven and loved, regardless, by the ones in our life. When chaos happens, remain peaceful. Figure out what your role in the process is. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, and pray or meditate, whatever helps. Then get up, let go, and move along. This too shall pass and everything happens for a reason. It is what it is and will be what it should be. Now take a deep breath, and head forward, peacefully, gracefully and love with no limits. You never know who may need it. Sometimes we’re called to be strong for the time being when others we love can’t be. No matter how bad you or someone you love messes up, keep in mind that we are all only human and things are messy, but the power of forgiveness is so important in order to move along. Life goes on, and it’s going to be okay. With much love, Lady Gaga 12•8•1712/9/2017 Hi everyone! I’m so excited to be writing my first blog post! So, last night I went to see Lady Gaga live in concert. Let me just tell you, she puts on a FABULOUS show. She sounds so beautiful live as well! Even when she’s dancing and moving a lot, her voice stays solid and she’s just practically flawless.
I went with my best friend since literally the day I was born, Logan, and we had so much fun! We waited in line from about 2:00 pm and it was freezing cold and windy, but SO worth it. We met some very nice people and ended up standing by them during the concert by coincidence! We decided to go to the “B stage “ because the main stage was more packed than we wanted. We ended up getting on the barricade for the entire concert at the B stage! It was so wonderful! Lady Gaga was so close to us and she pointed and sang to a girl right next to me! Logan brought a stuffed animal with a note attached to it to throw on stage, but security told him not to. I guess the knew what he had planned to do. So instead, we handed it to Christian, Lady Gaga’s boyfriend, who happened to be standing on the other side of our barricade. He agreed to give it to her and placed it on top of a speaker. My favorite song to see was Bad Romance, hands down. The lights, costume, choreography and everything else about it was SO extravagant and perfect! The Cure was another greatly performed song. On B stage, where we were at, she performed on the piano, The Edge of Glory, Come to Mama, and then Born This Way. Then she went back to main stage and performed some more, then made her way back to B stage for the encore which was Million Reasons. Million Reasons was so elegant and beautiful! She wore this silver, sparkly body suit and a pink hat. Then she stood up on the piano and finished the song, then got on her knees and it was lowered down into the stage while she sang an angelic closing. I’ve been to several concerts, and by far, Lady Gaga put on the best performance and had the best live vocals I’ve heard so far. She is so stunning! She’s just pure, genuine talent and beauty and I love how she isn’t afraid to be who she is. She’s very unique compared to anyone else in the musical industry and is so wonderful for making other people feel like it’s okay to be different. I met some really nice people! While in line there were these girl, one in her 20s, one in her teens, and one who was about 10-11. Well, the older one ended up getting drunk and kicked out of the concert before the show even started. She was drinking while we were in line and was being very loud and obnoxious. There was also this nice woman and her adult daughter who vouched for our spots if we had to go to the bathroom or something, and we did for them as well. They were the people who ended up standing next to us at the B stage barricade. While we were in line, some protesters showed up. They were protesting against Fur. They played tortured animal sounds and had megaphones they spoke through saying how Lady Gaga has “blood on her hands” and how fur is wrong because it skins animals alive. Basically, how we’re all horrible people for supporting Lady Gaga and wearing fur. They were quite the characters. When we got inside the venue, we were standing at the B stage and we met this nice couple. They were engaged, and their wedding date was set exactly a year from the concert, so December 8th, 2018. One girl was named Chelsea, and the other girl was named Kelsey. They helped up fight off people trying to push the barricade and just talked with us. Chelsea’s Mom (I think) was with her and she had this duct taped trench coat with all of Gaga’s songs written on it. She was so cool and is a professor at a college I might transfer to eventually. One of the security guards by us was so chill. I can’t remember his name, but he was a big dude with a deep voice and was absolutely hilarious. He gave us gum and let us put our jackets on the other side of the barrier. He stepped out at one point, and when he came back he was giggling and said he had pipe cleaners. He pulled on the end of his sleeve, and sure enough he had about 10 rainbow pipe cleaners up his sleeve. Kelsey took them from him, and I’m not sure what happened to them after that. I think I saw more guys in high heels than I did girls, but that’s okay. Props to them for their confidence! There was also a guy wearing only a speedo, that had Stars and Stripes the the American flag on it, and a bunch of guys who had the most fabulous makeup it made me jealous. I just love how Lady Gaga is so accepting. No matter who you love, what you look like, or what you believe, it’s okay. Everyone is welcome there, if not united. I have this love hate relationship with the human race. I just love how intricate and unique EACH and EVERY one of us are, and also how same we are. I just loved watching and participating in how so many different people get along and find common interests. I love seeing the humanity in people surface and collide with other peoples in the most beautiful way. It makes all the bad in the world feel so small, and that’s why I believe we’ll be okay. Things may look bad, but there’s more good people than evil in the world, even if it’s hard to believe or see at times. Love one another. And love yourself! Choose to see the good in the people before the bad. We are all humans no matter how different. Different is more than okay. Dare to be who you are. With much love, AuthorHello!
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